Isn't it wonderful how spending 5 days a week doing something you hate drains you of any creativity. I haven't posted on here since October and its not because I've done nothing or had nothing to write about, it's because the state of mind my job puts me in has killed all drive, ambition, creativity etc. from me.
Oddly this month I've had 2 4 day weekends, yet this is the first month since Christmas that I'm not arranged to really do anything. Since Christmas I've been to London, seen a rendition of hamlet, been to 4 or 5 gigs (some not entirely planned), been on several nights out (again some not entirely planned), seen 3 stand up comedians, been to the zoo, looked at places to live and spent £2000 on a car that I can't even drive. That's just the bigger things, I've done countless other less mention worthy things, been on excursions and spent many happy weekends with my partner.
Work is really dragging me down at the moment. I'd just kind of levelled out, found a rhythm that I could cope with, when my boss lands it on me that, because my formal review was due (early last month) meaning I should have gone on a permanent contract and gone up a wage bracket, he's decided that I'm on an indefinite probation and cancelled my formal review. This has effectively both frozen me at my current rate of pay and kept me on a temporary contract. This has left me in a state where I don't actually know what's happening or even if I'm keeping my job, it literally hangs completely in the balance and is completely in his hands, a point that he's made to me on several occasions by pulling me into the office to talk about how's he's watching me. I don't even know where I'm going with this rant, I just can't keep my mind focused, urghhhh I'm going to bed
