Birthday Blues

It’s my birthday in a few days and I’m really not looking forward to it, I’ll be 29 this year and I don’t really need a reminder that I’ve basically not done anything of value in over 10 years. I’ve watched most of the people I know go off and carve themselves a little slice of life, work their way up in their world and actually achieve something. I’ve worked hard and I’ve worked long hours, I’ve done every job to the best of my abilities and I’ve done well at every job, yet I’ve never found that niche, I’ve never moved up, I’ve just ended up drifting from one dead end job to another, to another and so on.
Despite all that, the reason I’m dreading my birthday is because it’s also the anniversary of the deaths of my 2 grandads. My birthday isn’t a celebration of my life it’s a day of lamenting the loss of two very important and much missed people.
People have been asking me for weeks what I would like for my birthday, what I’d like to do and if I’d like a gift. All I’ve been able to tell them, usually much to their annoyance, is that there isn’t anything I want and there’s nothing I really need. However that is not really true, there is something I would love for my birthday and that is to spend a day on my own, away from everyone and everything, somewhere out in the country with nothing around me but tree’s and plants, with a dull sky over head. I want to be able to sit out in the greyness and the drizzle and wallow in my own funk, delve deep into my bleak mood and just let it pervade me, thinking of nothing more than myself and my mood. Self indulgent depression and misery, nothing more, nothing less.

There was so much more I wanted to say but I just don’t have the drive for it.

Classic Weekend

Well it’s Sunday night, that means another week has passed and another Monday morning is about to arrive, much to my own displeasure. In all honesty today has been a particularly good day, it’s been a good weekend in general, despite the weather. Saturday passed pretty much as expected, I lay in bed late with my lady, I cooked a typical weekend breakfast of sausage and bacon, we did a bit of shopping, I chilled with a bit of Skyrim, cooked dinner and then kicked back with my lady, a few beers and some filmage. The way I see it a day spent relaxing is never a day wasted, infact I’m certain that it’s a necessity, I know for a fact that I’d go completely crazy without regular chilled days.

Today started unusually early for a weekend and then continued in an usual manor in that instead of taking a risk, and heading out to Stamford for a big VW meet, we played it safe and stayed local going to a small classic car show with a few other members of our VW club. It actually turned out to be an excellent choice, we parked up with the rest of the club and then wandered round to investigate. There was easily 200 other cars there of all different shapes and sizes, it was amazing to just wander round and get a close up look at other people’s pride and joy. I loved it, it had a chilled out, friendly atmosphere and my partner, myself and Bertie, our 66 beetle, fitted right in. We originally intended on only spending a while at the show but ended up spending the whole morning there. After we’d finished at the show we took a run up to the Midland Designer Outlet and chilled out with my partner’s parents in Starbucks before wandering off to the book shop to browse their collection of comics.

I feel like I’ve made the most of this weekend and I’m sure next weekend will be even better as we’re planning on running up to Whitby for a weekend by the sea in our favorite sea side spot. I’m going to need next weekend more than ever, all week I’ll be starting an hour early and working an hour longer, which is going to be a total nightmare.