Homemade Baked Beans In Tomato Sauce

Baked beans are a bit of an English staple, whether they're Heinz or Branston, they've always been a firm favourite amongst my family. This is my attempt at making my own and I think it's not too bad, they're maybe not as sweet as the tinned variety, but that doesn't mean they're not rich and flavourful.

You will need:
250g dried fava beans (pre-soaked for at least 8 hours)
1tbsp vegetable oil
1 large onion, finely chopped
2 garlic cloves, crushed
2 celery sticks, finely chopped
2tsp tomato puree
2tsp smoked paprika
1 tin chopped tomatoes
500ml vegetable stock
1tbsp Worcestershire sauce
Pinch of salt
Pinch of pepper

Method:
1. Put the drained and rinsed beans in a saucepan with a lid, cover with cold water and bring to the boil.
2. Allow the beans to boil for about 10 minutes, turn the heat down low, put on the lid and simmer gently for 45-50 minutes. Drain the beans and tip into a casserole dish.
3. Preheat the oven to 150°C.
4. Put the saucepan back on a medium heat, pour in the oil and allow to warm. Add the onions and celery, and fry for 2-3 minutes before adding the garlic and continuing to cook until the onions have softened.
5. Stir in the tomato puree and smoked paprika and allow to cook for 1-2 minutes.
6. Stir in the tinned tomatoes, stock and Worcestershire sauce. Bring the sauce to the boil, turn the heat down low, put on the lid and simmer gently for 5-10 minutes.
7. Pour the sauce over the beans and stir thoroughly. Cover the casserole dish and bake in the oven for 2-3 hours, stirring occasionally. Prior to serving check the seasoning and add salt and pepper to taste.

Notes:
These are awesome on toast, with mash, with a jacket potato, with pork chops, as part of a full English or even with just bread and butter.

Thanks, Mate, Now I’ve Shat Myself

This is a work of true poetic genius by British stand-up comedian Joe Wilkinson:

If I'm running towards the lav shouting,
"It's coming out, it's coming out!"
Don't stop me and ask me where I got my nest of tables.

Thanks, mate, now I've shat myself.

And don't dare me to eat 50 Cadbury's Creme Eggs
Then let me have a go on your trampoline.
What did you think was going to happen?

Thanks, mate, now I've shat myself.

And don't tickle me when I'm chatting to the bus driver
About how much I shit myself.

Thanks, mate
Oh, hang on, I don't think I followed through that time.
Oh, no, I have.

Thanks, mate, I shat myself.

Taken from season 15 episode 1 of 8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown, staring John Cooper Clarke

Caribbean Style Spicy Jerk Sauce

So this is my take on a spicy Caribbean jerk sauce. This recipe is heavily inspired by Livvy's homemade jerk chicken, her recipe is strictly secret, fiercely guarded and absolutely delicious.

You will need:
1 small onion
4 spring onions
6 large cloves of garlic
2 scotch bonnet chillies
2 finger chillies
1 thumb sized chunk of fresh ginger
1 small handful of fresh thyme
2 tbsp dried thyme
1 tbsp cinnamon powder
1 tbsp allspice powder
1 tbsp ground black pepper
1 tsp freshly grated nutmeg
2 tbsp dark brown sugar
2 tbsp honey
2 tbsp dark soy sauce
1 vegetable stock cube

Method:
1. Roughly chop the onion, spring onions, garlic, chillies, ginger and fresh thyme.
2. Crush up the stock cube.
3. Pour all the ingredients into a food processor and pulse until combined.

Notes:
This sauce is actually better a day or so after it's made, it gives the flavours time to mellow and makes for a really well rounded sauce. This will last for 4 to 5 days in a sealed container in the refrigerator or it can be frozen and will last for months in the freezer.

Sausage And Kidney Bean Casserole

I'm not a big fan of washing up so any dish that only requires one pot is a big plus for me. This is a simple but hearty sausage and bean casserole that'll satisfy the most manly of appetites.

You will need:
1tbsp Vegetable oil
1 Onion
2 Sticks celery
1 Yellow pepper
1 Red pepper
3 Cloves garlic
1/2tbsp Tomato paste
6 Butchers sausages
1tsp Smoked paprika
1tsp Paprika
1tsp Ground cumin
1tbsp Dried thyme
1 Tin chopped tomatoes
1 Tin red kidney beans
Pinch of salt
Pinch of black pepper

Method:
1. Heat the oil in a large pan.
2. Finely chop the onions, add to the pan and cook over a medium heat for about 5 minutes.
3. Add the sausages to the pan and cook for 5 minutes.
4. Chop the celery and peppers, add to the pan and continue cooking for 2 - 3 minutes.
5. Crush the garlic into the pan, stir in the tomato paste, spices and dried thyme then cook for a further 1 - 2 minutes.
6. Add the tinned tomatoes and the brine from the beans, holding back the beans for now, and bring to a simmer. Turn down the heat and gently simmer for 40 minutes.
7.Add in the beans and allow them to warm through, check the seasoning and add a pinch of salt and a black pepper if required.

Notes:
This is so good it can be served with just a small loaf of warm crusty bread and butter. Alternatively serve alongside mashed potatoes or even suet dumplings. Add a good slug of Worcestershire sauce, when checking the seasoning, for a little extra flavour. Adding some chopped coriander to garnish will add extra depth to the dish. This recipe can be modified to be a fairly easy camping or store cupboard recipe by swapping out the butchers sausage for a tin or jar of your favourite hotdogs. Swapping the sausages out for hotdogs will dramatically reduce the cooking time.

Quick Mushy Peas

This is more of a pea puree than actual mushy peas, but if you don't have the time to soak your dried marrowfats over night and spend hours simmering them to mushy perfection, then these will do the job in a pinch.

You will need:
500g Frozen peas
100ml Vegetable stock
25g Butter
Pinch of salt
Pinch of black pepper
Small handful of fresh mint leaves (Optional)

Method:
1. Add the frozen peas and vegetable stock into a pan and bring up to the boil.
2. Reduce the heat and simmer for 5 - 10 minutes, until the peas are tender (Stir in mint leaves part way through the cooking time if using).
3. Spoon the mixture into a food processor, add in the butter and blend to the desired consistency.
4. Return the mixture to the pan, season with salt and pepper to taste and heat through.

Notes:
Serve along side Shallow Fried Fish, Rustic Rosemary Oven Chips and a round of buttered crusty bread for a homemade, slightly healthier, slightly more up market "chippy tea".

Shallow Fried Chicken

Another simple recipe I discovered after the tragic loss of my deep fat fryer. Crispy fried chicken is one of lifes pleasures and this recipe is both easy and very tasty.

You will need:
6 Chicken legs (separated into thighs and drumsticks)
2pt Of buttermilk (alternatively add a couple of tablespoons of white vinegar to ordinary milk)
300g Plain flour
4tsp Salt
2tsp Black pepper
1tsp Cayenne pepper
Plenty of oil for frying (should be about 1 inch up the side of the pan)

Method:
1. Add the chicken and buttermilk to a large bowl, cover and allow to stand in the fridge for at least 8 hours.
2. In a large, resealable plastic bag, combine the flour, salt, pepper and cayenne.
3. Remove the chicken from the buttermilk, gently shaking off any excess and drop into the resealable bag. Do this in batches so you do not over load the bag.
4. Shake the bag until the chicken is coated completely. Transfer the chicken to grill racks, pressing the coating to ensure it has properly adhered to the chicken.
5. Pour approximately 1 inch of oil into a large pan and bring to a medium/high heat. Add the chicken to the pan in small batches and fry for 20 - 25 minutes. Do not overload the pan.
6. Line the grill racks with paper towels and drain the chicken. Continue frying in small batches until all the chicken is cooked.

Notes:
Use the left over seasoned flour to make a simple gravy by stirring into some melted butter to make a roux, cooking out the flour on a low/medium heat and then thinning it out to the desired consistency using chicken stock.

Shallow Fried Fish

This isn't strictly my own recipe, I adapted it after the tragic loss of my deep fat fryer. This is a standard beer batter recipe modified to give a similar effect to deep fat frying using just a frying pan. It's excellent if you're craving some old school, homemade fish and chips, but don't necessarily have the required equipment.

You will need:
2 White fish fillets
75g Plain flour
1tsp baking powder
Pinch of salt
Pinch of black pepper
100ml Pale ale
300ml Of oil (should be about 1cm deep in the pan)

Method:
1. Sift the flour, baking powder, salt and pepper into a mixing bowl.
2. Gradually add the ale, whisking continuously until the batter is smooth and free from lumps.
3. Heat the oil on a high heat.
4. Pat the fish dry with some kitchen paper and remove any stray bones.
5. Put the fillets into the batter and turn them over a few times to make sure they are evenly coated.
6. Check if the oil is hot enough by dropping half a teaspoon of batter into the pan. If the batter immediately rises to the surface and the oil bubbles all around it and it turns golden within sixty seconds the oil is hot enough to fry.
7. Take one of the fillets and turn it over in the batter again and then holding it at either end, lay it flat in the hot oil, skin side up, then quickly do the same with the second fillet.
8. Reduce the temperature a little and cook for 3 minutes.
9. When the fillets are golden turn them over and cook for a further 3 - 4 minutes, or until golden, on the other side.
10. Remove the fish from the pan and drain on some kitchen paper before serving.

Notes:
Serve along side Rustic Rosemary Oven Chips, Quick Mushy Peas and a round of buttered crusty bread for a homemade, slightly healthier, slightly more up market "chippy tea".

Rustic Rosemary Oven Chips

I'm not a big fan of potatoes, but these chips are awesome and can be used as a side dish for just about anything or make an excellent snack in their own right. Another simple recipe I came up with after the tragic loss of my deep fat fryer.

You will need:
3 Medium potatoes
1tbsp Olive oil
2tsp Dried rosemary
1tsp Coarse sea salt
1tsp Freshly ground black pepper

Method:
1. Place a grease proof paper lined baking tray in the oven and preheat it to 230°C.
2. Wash the potatoes thoroughly and cut them into chips about 1cm thick, leaving the skin on.
3. Boil the chips, in lightly salted water, for about 10 minutes.
4. Add the oil and dried rosemary to a large frying pan and heat gently, allowing the rosemary to flavour the oil.
5. Toss the chips in the oil, ensuring they're thoroughly coated, before spreading them evenly on the preheated try.
6. Season with the salt and pepper and bake in the oven for 20 - 25 minutes.

Notes
Serve along side Shallow Fried Fish, Quick Mushy Peas and a round of buttered crusty bread for a homemade, slightly healthier, slightly more up market "chippy tea".