Office Humour

This appeared on the break room notice board approximately 10 minutes after a, somewhat...ok... extremely, passive aggressive email was sent to all staff regarding the 150 forks that have mysteriously vanished in the last 6 months.

Thanks, Mate, Now I’ve Shat Myself

This is a work of true poetic genius by British stand-up comedian Joe Wilkinson:

If I'm running towards the lav shouting,
"It's coming out, it's coming out!"
Don't stop me and ask me where I got my nest of tables.

Thanks, mate, now I've shat myself.

And don't dare me to eat 50 Cadbury's Creme Eggs
Then let me have a go on your trampoline.
What did you think was going to happen?

Thanks, mate, now I've shat myself.

And don't tickle me when I'm chatting to the bus driver
About how much I shit myself.

Thanks, mate
Oh, hang on, I don't think I followed through that time.
Oh, no, I have.

Thanks, mate, I shat myself.

Taken from season 15 episode 1 of 8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown, staring John Cooper Clarke