Not Exactly An Update

It’s been over a month since my last update on the progress being made with the rebuild of our building and there’s one simple reason for this, there has been none. The building is almost exactly as it was a month ago, no one’s been on site, we’ve not heard from the insurance company and whenever we call them they’re not helpful.

Coffee Shop Rant

Unless you're an espresso worshipper, and I most certainly am not, it seems like Birmingham is a bit of a dead zone on the coffee front. On Monday afternoon I tried several different independent coffee shops and not one of them could offer me a standard drip filter, a pour over or even a simple cafetiere for my trouble.

To be fair to one of them, Yorks Cafe on Colmore Row, they had simply sold out of filter coffee and whilst they did offer to grind some beans and brew a fresh pot, this was the last place I called, I was already running a little late for my train and I didn't really have the time to spare to wait. All the others, however, simply didn't sell filter coffee and could only offer me an 'americano' as if somehow a watered down, largely tasteless espresso is a valid alternative to a well brewed mug of old school coffee.

Don't get me wrong I understand that making espresso is almost an art form in itself, and that a half decent espresso machine is hugely expensive and that most of the modern fashionable coffee choices start life as a shot of espresso. What I don't understand is why refer to yourself as a coffee shop if the only coffee you serve is a variant of espresso, surely at that point you're actually an espresso bar? By a strange coincidence the only place to offer me the option of waiting for a fresh brewed pot of coffee is the only place, of the few I visited, used to identify itself as an espresso bar.

Next time I'm in Brum I think I'll pop to Yorks, and, if they're out of filter, I'll ask them if they mind brewing a fresh pot, I'll order myself one of their awesome looking handmade doughnuts, I'll sit in, wait for my coffee and spend a few minutes people watching.

Fat Guy Problems

When you’re a long-term fat guy whose trying to lose weight, every day is a battle not to slip back into 20 plus year old habits and coping mechanisms. Sometimes you lose those battles, today this cake absolutely kicked my and my will powers ass.

Nans Classic Crumpets

There's something deeply satisfying about crumpets with lashings of butter and a nice big mug of tea, they're even more satisfying if those crumpets are freshly made by your own hands. This is a recipe I found (and only recently reminded of its existence, thanks to a large pack of Mr Warburtons finest), hand written on a piece of paper, tucked in between the pages of one of my Nans old cook books. I've roughly converted it to grams and millilitres and attempted to interpret and re-write my Nans extremely basic notes into a fairly basic recipe. This recipe should make about 12 crumpets, mine mostly turned out to be very rustic looking but still tasted awesome.

You will need:
12 fl oz (340ml) warm whole milk
6 fl oz (170ml) warm water
1 tsp caster sugar
1 tbsp bakers yeast (I tend to use 2 sachets of instant yeast)
12 oz (340g) plain flour
1/2 tsp bicarbonate of soda
1 tsp salt
1 tbsp vegetable oil (rapeseed oil) for greasing

Method:
1. In a bowl, dissolve the sugar and yeast in the warm milk and water. Once dissolved set the bowl aside, somewhere fairly warm, until the mixture starts to froth, this usually takes about 10 minutes.
2. Sift the flour, salt and bicarb into a large bowl and mix together.
3. Form a well in the middle of the flour mixture and pour the yeast mixture into the middle.
4. Pull the flour from around the outside of the bowl into the middle using a wooden spoon, continue to mix this way until the mixture is smooth and free of lumps.
5. Cover the bowl with a damp cloth and set aside, somewhere fairly warm, until the mixture starts to form bubbles on the surface, this usually takes about 30 - 45 minutes.
6. Heat a cast iron pan or heavy based frying pan over a medium heat, lightly grease the inside of several metal rings (roughly 80mm internal diameter), grease the bottom of the pan and place the rings in the pan.
7. Spoon 2 tbsp of the mixture into each ring and cook for about 5 minutes, until bubbles have appeared and the surface is set.
8. Gently remove the crumpets from their rings, flip them over and cook on the other side for a further 2 minutes.

Notes:
Serve still warm with plenty of butter or allow them to cool for toasting later. This recipe can be modified slightly to make pyclets, simply add an extra 50g of flour to stiffen the mix and cook without the rings.

Simple Roasted Chicken Dinner

This is essentially a modified version of my Simple Roasted Sausage Dinner that will help satisfy your midweek ‘sunday dinner’ cravings without all the preparation and hassle of the real thing.

You will need:
2 tbsp vegetable oil (rapeseed oil)
500g jersery royal new potatoes, halved if overly large
500g chantenay carrots, halved if overly large
2 large parsnips, cut into batons similar in size to the carrots
1 tbsp dried sage
1 tsp salt
1 tsp black pepper, freshly ground
1 medium red onion, sliced
1 medium white onion, sliced
6 - 8 cloves of garlic, not peeled
1kg chicken thighs
300ml stock

Method:
1. Pre-heat the oven to 200°C
2. Pour the oil into the corner of a large oven proof tray, add in the potatoes, carrots and parsnips and toss in the oil until evenly coated, draining off any excess oil.
3. Sprinkle about half the sage, salt and pepper over the oiled veg and toss to get a nice even coating.
4. Add the onions, garlic and chicken, spreading everything out as evenly as possible.
5. Sprinkle the remaining sage, salt and pepper over the chicken thighs, put the tray in the oven and cook for about 20 minutes until the chicken is golden.
6. Remove the tray from the oven and reduce the temperature to 130°C. Pour the stock into the tray and return to the oven for a further 20 minutes, until the chicken is cooked through and the veg is tender.

Notes:
Serve up alongside some steamed veg and gravy. To save on washing up, sprinkle some water over the veg, wrap in foil and place in the oven for the final 20 minutes of cooking time. To make the gravy even better, drain any excess liquid from the bottom of the pan and add it before pouring. To really satisfy those ‘sunday dinner’ cravings add a few frozen stuffing balls to the tray for the final 20 minutes cooking time.

Tea and Crumpets

You really know that you're British when you sit and think to yourself "It feels like a tea and crumpets kind of evening" in the middle of summer.

Simple Sausage Curry

Now the idea of a sausage curry might be a little odd to some people, however, if like me you grew up in a fairly poor household, where cheap nasty frozen sausages and jars of 'No Frills' curry sauce were a necessity, then you may be familiar with this cheap, filling, strangely comforting way of adding variety and flavour to the humble banger. Now this isn't the sausage curry of my youth, this my nostalgia trip, rose tinted, upgraded (hopefully) version of a childhood comfort food classic.

You will need:
1 tbsp of vegetable oil (rapeseed oil)
6 - 8 butchers sausages
1 large onion, chopped
3 cloves of garlic, crushed
1 inch piece of ginger, grated
1 tbsp tomato puree
1 tsp garam masala
1 tsp curry powder
1 chilli, finely chopped
1 large carrot, thinly chopped
1 small red pepper, roughly chopped
1 small yellow pepper, roughly chopped
150g cherry tomatoes, halved
150mm chicken stock
Pinch of salt and pepper

Method:
1. Pour the oil in to a large, fairly high sided frying pan and warm over a medium high heat.
2. Add the sausages and cook for about a minute on each side, at this point you're just browning the sausages not cooking them through.
3. Remove the sausages from the pan and turn the heat down to medium, add the onions and cook for 2 to 3 minutes, until they start to soften.
4. Add the garlic and ginger and cook for another minute before stirring in the tomato puree, garam masala, curry powder and chilli. Once thoroughly mixed continue to cook for 2 or 3 minutes until fragrant.
5. Add in the carrot, peppers and tomatoes, stir through and cook for a further 5 minutes.
6. Return the sausages to the pan, pour over about half of the stock, bring to a gentle simmer and cook for 10 minutes.
7. Check the seasoning, add salt and pepper if needed, add more stock if the sauce is looking dry and continue to cook for 5 to 10 more minutes, ensuring the sausages are cooked through.

Notes:
Serve over rice, a jacket potato, mashed potato or even just alongside a decent naan bread for a quick, cheap curry fix.

Simple Beef and Cheese Burritos

You’re looking for a little bit of filth, something quick, meaty, cheesy and maybe a little spicy, but you still want it to be crisp, fresh, not overly heavy and you want to just be able to pick it up and dig right in. I’ve got just one word for you... Burritos! They tick all of the boxes and, to be quite frank, are just awesome.

For the beef you will need:
500g minced beef
1 tsp cumin
1 tsp smoked paprika
1 tsp of mild chilli powder
2 tbsp tomato ketchup

To serve you will need:
2 large tortilla wraps
3 tbsp guacamole (good quality pre-made will be fine)
2 tbsp medium hot salsa (good quality pre-made will be fine)
1/2 small iceberg lettuce, shredded
1 small red onion, chopped
1 medium tomato, sliced
100g mature cheddar, grated
50g gouda, grated

Method:
1. Pre-heat a frying pan over a medium high heat and add in the beef to brown off.
2. When lightly browned drain off any excess fat and add the cumin, paprika and chilli powder, stir through and then cook for about a minute.
3. Add in the tomato ketchup, stir through and cook for a further 2 minutes before removing from the heat.
4. Warm the tortillas in a large pan over a low heat to soften.
5. Once softened remove the tortillas from the pan and spread the guacamole, about 2 inches from the top and 2 inches from either side, over the top half of each tortilla.
6. Spread the salsa over the top of the guacamole.
7. Add a small amount of lettuce on top of the salsa and repeat with the onion, a couple of slices of tomato and the cheese.
8. Pile the hot beef on top of the cheese, fold in both sides and then the top of the tortilla before rolling from the top down. Roll them as tightly as possible, tucking in any escaped filling as you go.

Notes:
Wrap the burritos in tin foil to help hold them together and to keep the filling nice and warm. If you want to dial up the heat and in some chopped fresh chillies or use a hotter salsa.

It’s been a long, busy week at work, and the hot weather really hasn’t helped matters, so tonight is a chill out night. Back to back Wardruna, tons of incense, candles, my pipe and hopefully some decent porn later.

Simple Salisbury Steak

This is one of those American dishes that just makes for amazing comfort food. This is my take on it, I've kept it nice and simple whilst, hopefully, still having plenty of substance and flavour.

For the 'steaks' you will need:
500g minced beef
50g bread crumbs
1 small onion, finely chopped
1 egg, beaten
pinch of salt and pepper
1 tsp vegetable oil (rapeseed oil)

For the sauce you will need:
1 medium onion, roughly chopped
100g mushrooms, roughly chopped
2 cloves of garlic, crushed
2 tsp of butter (if needed)
2 tbsp plain flour
500ml beef stock
2 tsp worcestershire sauce
pinch of pepper

Method:
1. Add all the ingredients for the 'steaks' into a large bowl and mix, with your hands, until just combined. Do not over mix.
2. Divide the mix into 4 equal portions and form into oval shaped patties.
3. Warm the oil in a heavy frying pan over a high heat, add in the patties and cook for about 1 minute.
4. Turn the patties and cook for a further minute before removing from the pan and setting aside.
5. Add the onions and mushrooms into the pan and cook for 2 - 3 minutes.
6. Turn the heat down to medium, add in the garlic and cook for 1 minute.
7. If there's not a lot of oil left in the pan, add the butter and allow it to melt.
8. Once the butter has melted, add the flour and cook for 2 minutes stirring constantly.
9. Gradually add the beef stock, a little at a time, stirring constantly.
10. Stir in the worcestershire sauce and a good sizes pinch of pepper before adding the 'steaks' back into the pan and cooking, stirring occasionally, for about 5 minutes.

Notes:
Remove the steaks from the gravy and plate up with a good portion of mashed potatoes and steamed vegetables before spooning the gravy over the top.

Pure Vanity

… and then you have that sudden flash of realisation that you are the vain prick that takes selfies on his break at work.

Simple Roasted Sausage Dinner

This dish goes back to my basic laziness and inherent love of one pot cooking. It’s old school comfort food at it’s finest and to top it off it’s pretty quick, it’s very simple and, most of all, it’s extremely tasty.

You will need:
2 tbsp rapeseed oil
2 large onions, roughly chopped
2 red peppers, roughly chopped
2 garlic cloves, chopped
1 tbsp dry thyme
500g new potatoes, scrubbed and halved where necessary
12 butchers sausages
200ml chicken stock
Pinch of salt and pepper

Method:
1. Pre-heat the oven to 200°C.
2. Add the ingredients, except the stock, salt and pepper, into a large baking tray and turn until they are fully coated in the oil and thyme.
3. Spread the ingredients out into one even layer, ensuring that the sausages aren’t covered by any of the vegetables, and season with a little salt and plenty of pepper.
4. Roast for 30 - 35 minutes until the sausages have browned, remove from the oven, turn the sausages and toss the vegetables in the cooking juices. Add in the stock and roast for a further 20 minutes or until browned.

Notes:
I tend to just serve this as it is and it nearly always comes out well, but occasionally you can be left with excess cooking juices, these can simply be drained and thickened with a little cornflour slurry to make a quick and tasty gravy.