Showing posts with label weight loss. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weight loss. Show all posts

Thursday, February 4, 2021

I Binged Today...

I binged today, it’s been the worst binge I’ve had in a long long time.

About 2 years ago, over the course of 10 months, I lost 8 stone (that’s 112lb or 51kg for anyone outside the UK). The last 2 years have been a real struggle to keep the weight off, a struggle that I’ve been slowly losing. As I relaxed my calorie count old habits re-emerged and I started to occasionally binge eat again. Since the peak of my weight loss I’ve managed to regain a around about a stone (14lb or 6.5kg) and I currently weigh in at almost exactly 17 stone (238lbs or 108kg).

Whilst this is nowhere near what I used to weigh, that being 25 stone (350lb or 159kg), it is by no means small and I’m still classified as clinically obese for a man of my height.

Unfortunately I’ve discovered that losing weight hasn’t really affected my ability to binge large quantities of food, nor has it really altered the maximum portion size that I’m able to eat. Today something in me briefly gave up and in the time it took me to regain control, a period of around 20 minutes, I ate 8 packets of Maltesers, 6 packets of Hula Hoops, 4 KitKats and 2 toasted crumpets. Considering this happened after I’d eaten my main meal, and having already consumed in the region of 1800 calories for the day, I should be feeling horribly bloated and generally ill. The problem is that so many years of constant binge eating has left my capacity to eat extremely high and because of that I barely even feel full. Had I not regained control of myself when I did I really don’t know when I would have stopped or how much I could have consumed.

Needless to say I’m extremely disappointed in myself and am currently feeling quite a lot of self loathing.

Wednesday, May 29, 2019

Everyday I Struggle With Food

It's been 18 months since I radically changed what I eat and started to actively lose weight. Although I don't actually know how much weight I've lost, in that time I've dropped 10 inches from around my waist and gone down 3 X's in shirt size. Even after all this time staying on the wagon and making healthier food choices is incredibly difficult, there's not a single day goes by that some part of me doesn't cry out for crisps, fried foods and chocolate. Most days I can keep it under control, but that's not always the case, some times my will breaks and I make a total pig of myself. The days I fail are the hardest of all because they remind me that I love eating and that fatty, unhealthy foods are my favourite and represent some of the best foods known to man. On these days getting myself back under control and getting back on the wagon is almost impossible, but I know that I have to, I never want to be the size I used to be and that means being in control of myself.

Monday, April 1, 2019

Monday Morning Update



This weekend was a very food heavy couple of days and, whilst I definitely enjoyed eating it, I know that I’m going to spend the rest of the week paying the price for it. I shall be somewhat punishing myself mentally, if not physically, as I obsessively count every single calorie that goes into my body. That’s not to say that I’m currently on a massively restricted calorie count, I’m not really looking to lose any more weight, however, I am actively trying to avoid gaining weight. After the weekend I’ve just had (including heading out for a few drinks on Thursday night), I’ll be aiming for somewhere in the region of 1800 calories a day and over the next 4 days this should, more or less, balance things out nicely.

Wednesday, March 13, 2019

Gaining Weight Is Easier Than You Think

It really wasn't until I'd spent a fair amount of time actually counting calories that it occurred to me just how ridiculously easy it is to go over your recommended daily intake. The average man needs to consume 2500 calories a day just to maintain his current weight, with the average woman needing somewhat less at 2000 calories. These numbers sound like a lot, but they're really not and making the wrong choices can quite easily leave you consuming more than half your daily intake in a single meal.

Let's put those numbers into some sort of perspective and think of what most people would consider an average, fairly healthy, day. Let's start at the beginning with breakfast:

You're having a bowl of porridge with a glass of fruit juice and a banana. Looking at an average pack of porridge oats your suggested serving is 40g porridge oats, 100ml semi skimmed milk and 1 tsp of honey, this would make roughly 210 calories, or 150ml, worth of porridge. Taking into account that the average breakfast bowl holds 440ml of food, this works out to be less than half a bowl. Scaling this up to make a full (ish) bowl of porridge you're looking more like 100g of porridge oats, 200ml semi skimmed milk and 2 tsp honey, giving you a serving of 490 calories. Add in a 250ml glass of fresh orange juice, at around 120 calories, and a small banana, at 90 calories, and you've already consumed 700 calories before you even left the house.

You arrive at work, at 8:30am, and the first thing you do is make a mug of coffee with milk and sugar, providing you with an additional 50 calories.

10:30am arrives and you pop to the loo and make a second coffee for another 50 calories.

Before you know it, it's 1:00pm, it's lunch time and your stomach is rumbling. By 1:10pm you're sitting in the canteen slurping a capri sun with a pleasantly full belly, and an empty lunch box, having just polished off a fairly reasonable lunch of a ham sandwich, a packet of cheese and onion, an apple, an orange and a muller light for a grand total of 660 calories (including the capri sun).

You sit and read a couple of news articles on your phone, you have a chat with Barry from accounting, 2:00pm comes around and you head back to the office with your 3rd, and final, mug of 50 calorie coffee.

It's been a long afternoon when 5:30pm finally rolls around, you're tired, you're hungry and you've got a 20 minute walk home before you get to eat. There's only one thing keeping you on the straight and narrow and that is you know there's a slow cooker full of home made bolognese waiting for you and all you'll need to do is boil a bit of pasta, toast a slice of garlic bread and serve it in your favourite bowl for a respectable 750 calories.
It's 7:00 pm and you've just finished the washing up, you've popped the kettle on to make a pot of tea and the biscuits are calling your name, you've been good, you've not snacked and you've even managed to get most of your 5 a day, a couple of chocolate digestives with your tea, coming in at a total of 220 calories, isn't going to break the scales.

You climb into bed, your alarm clock reads 10:00 pm, you contemplate how your diet is going and you come to the conclusion that you're doing really well right before you drift off to sleep.

So let's do the maths:

700 + 50 + 50 + 660 + 50 + 750 + 220 = 2480 calories in one day.

Now if you're a man this isn't actually too bad for a day, you've more or less broke even and, whilst you might not be losing weight, you're not gaining weight, however, if you're a woman this would be a bad day and it would only take a few days like this a week to find yourself putting on a stone in weight over a 6 month period. So for anyone who is trying to lose weight and is having any sort of success, believe me when I say that even the slowest of weight loss should be considered success, you are doing amazingly well and you deserve respect.

Monday, January 21, 2019

Real Men Wear Cardigans


One of the few things I've actually been successful at over the past 12 months is losing weight. I've dropped about 10 inches from around my waist, having lost somewhere in the region of 5 stones, since this time last year.

I'd love to say it's made my more confident and given me a fresh perspective on life, but in all honesty I'm not sure that it has made all that much difference. I'm the smallest I've been since I was a teenager, and it's definitely lessened some of my aches and pains, but on an emotional level I'm still pretty much broken.

That said I have come away with at least one positive thing, I can totally rock a cardigan and no matter what anyone else says cardigans are metal as fuck.

P.S I still suck at taking selfies.

P.P.S Any clothing brands looking for a tall, slightly older, somewhat alternative, grizzled (ugly) looking model I'm totally available... and that's not at all because I now have a wardrobe full of clothes that are too big and can't afford to replace them so could do with some free stuff...

Sunday, September 2, 2018

Forever A Fatty

So diet wise this weekend has been a complete disaster, however, food wise it's been pretty awesome. Cinnamon hot cocoa with homemade cookies for supper followed, a few hours later, by a rye bread grilled cheese with red onion chutney and pickles for breakfast.

Wednesday, August 22, 2018

Fat Guy Problems



When you’re a long-term fat guy whose trying to lose weight, every day is a battle not to slip back into 20 plus year old habits and coping mechanisms. Sometimes you lose those battles, today this cake absolutely kicked my and my will powers ass.

Monday, October 10, 2016

The Downwards Spiral

Since my last post I've been trying to shake off the downwards spiral I've put my life in general into over the last few months. I'd been feeling really low, I was letting the negative thoughts get to me and I was getting to the stage where I wasn't connecting with the things I enjoy and care about. In order to pull myself together and get back on track I need to make positive changes to my lifestyle, I need to reconnect and I need to improve my general health and well being. Losing a bit of weight, getting myself back down to the size I was a few years ago and improving my health in general seemed like a good starting point.

For me the obvious first step was trying to cut down on my alcohol consumption, over the last few months this had steadily increased to the point where it had become an issue. It was a primary factor in my recent weight gain and was starting to become very expensive. I'm mainly a real ale and craft beer drinker, so I'd been spending as much on beer as on almost all of my other expenditures combined. I'm not going to make out like it was an epic struggle, I am not and have never been dependant on alcohol. Though with that said I was definitely using it as a sort of comfort blanket, slipping in to the gentle mellowness that comes on the edge of being drunk and using it to shut off the negative thoughts that are almost constantly running through my mind. The way I saw it the solution was fairly simple, do not buy beer, either by avoiding the temptation entirely or by going in with "do not buy beer" set at the forefront of my mind. So far this solution has been very successful, I haven't bought beer and if the beer isn't in the house then I can't drink it.

The second step is a little harder for me to face, I need to cut down on my snacking and tweak my general diet to include less junk and more healthy food. This is always particularly hard for me as I'm a bit of a foodie, eating is hugely important to me, I derive more pleasure from eating than almost anything else in my life. Combined with the fact that my general food preferences largely consist of meat and meat based products means that my day to day calorie intake tends to be fairly high. For me the easiest part of getting my eating under control was to cut down on the snacking, I've done this by initially replacing my normal unhealthy snacks with fruit and veg before slowly cutting the number of snacks down to just a couple of pieces of fruit a day. Once I'd got snacking under control I moved on to adjusting my breakfast routine, for me breakfast usually consisted of something along the lines of a ham and cheese sandwich, beans and cheese on toast or toasted bagels and chocolate spread. I needed to replace this and decided cereals would be the way to go, after testing several different cereals I came to conclusion that no added sugar or salt muesli offered the best compromise between flavour and being healthy. Now I'm starting to get my eating under control, my calorie intake is down and I'm eating more fruit and veg, it's time to introduce the next step.

The third step is to try and exercise more, now I'm never going to be the kind of guy who spends his life in gym, that is definitely not for me. Instead I decided it was time to get out and about and start walking at weekends. When I was younger I loved going camping, hiking, etc. I loved to get out into the country and just enjoy being outside, away from the hustle and bustle, away from the town centre crowds. Part of me would love to re-capture that outdoors spirit and the freedom I felt, part of me just hates being surrounded by people and loves the solitude. Either way the last few weekends I've spent heading out into the middle of nowhere and following one of the many planned walking routes. I have to say it's been a very nice experience, I've seen some beautiful countryside, some gorgeous woodlands, charming villages and wonderful wildlife.  I don't know if it's physically doing me any good, I haven't noticed any weight loss, but it's definitely lifting my mood and I'm definitely rediscovering my love of the English countryside and the great outdoors in general.

These are changes that I should really have made a long time ago and realistically, if I'm genuinely going to get my life back on track, there's a long way to go and a lot more changes that I need to make. I know I don't have the best track record with this kind of thing, I'm definitely guilty of procrastination and I nearly always take the easy way out, but I'm genuinely hoping I can keep this up and can actually start to make the changes I need to be the person I want to be.

Walking and the Great Outdoors