Job Search

I’ve been in my current role for so long that I’d almost completely forgotten how hard it can be to find a new job. The stupid thing is that it’s not even that there’s no jobs out there, it’s more the fact that it seems like no matter where you look none of the jobs available are roles that you’re qualified to do, that fall within your skill set or are aimed at your current level of experience.

You either end up applying for nothing at all or for a ton of jobs that you know you don’t stand a chance of getting. Either way even just trawling through job sites is mentally and emotionally draining, and that’s before you even get to filling out the absolutely ridiculous application forms or spending hours tailoring your C.V. and crafting a well thought out cover letter, all the time knowing that you’re unlikely to even receive a “thanks, but no thanks”.

To me the thing that makes matters worse is that about 80% of the jobs you apply for are through employment agencies, meaning you don’t even know if your application is getting passed on to the company or not. The only thing that you do know for certain is that for the next 6 months you’ll be getting constant phone calls, generally while you’re at work and unable to answer them, trying to get you to apply for any position in a 50 mile radius, even though you expressly stated that you’re not wanting to commute any more than 5 miles, that has a remotely, often extremely remotely, similar job description to your current role.

Being an adult sucks.

Personal Goals Vs Earning A Living: The Working Persons Dilemma

I’m getting old, I’m already considerably older than my parents were when they bought their first house and had their first child, neither of which I’m anywhere close to attaining and both of which are things I would like to have at some point. As I become increasingly aware of my own mortality, and my body clock slowly winding down, I’m starting to want certain things from my life and from my career. To a certain degree a good number of the things are my own to achieve and will only be achieved through my personal hard work and perseverance, however, some of these are reliant on my finances and my finances are directly linked to my job and, therefore, my employer.

I have worked for my current employer for the last 8 years of my life and during that time, whilst I may not have always been a model employee (in part due to my general disregard for authority), I have been one of the most hard working, consistently performing and reliable employees in the company, a fact that is often noted by my direct superiors. Unfortunately this hasn’t seemed to make much of a difference when it’s come to career progression or getting pay rises. When I first joined the company I initially made some forward momentum, but this plateaued fairly quickly and I ended up at a dead end. Since then I have taken several lateral moves within the company, to attempt to regain some forward momentum, only to end up with a greater workload at the same salary and to discover yet another dead end.

For the last 3 years I have been working in the same role, operating under the assurance from middle/upper management that I will be getting my own team to manage and that accompanying this will be further training opportunities, a higher pay bracket and greater potential for career advancement, something that would give me the financial stability and additional income that I need to start achieving some of my goals. Seeing as none of this has materialised, and is showing no sign of doing so any time soon, has left me with a little bit of a dilemma. Do I take the secure route and persevere with my current employer, in my current role, continuing to put my goals on hold and hoping that their promises come to fruition? Or do I throw caution to the wind, risk losing it all and gaining the potential of becoming unemployed by handing in my notice and trying to find a new, better paid job?

Jobs, Joblessness And Annoyance.

I had completely forgotten exactly how much I hate trawling job sites, job pages etc. It's one of the few activities that, even when you're actually being fairly productive, feels like you're completely wasting your time. Once you've found those few precious advertisements worth replying too, after hours of searching, you write out your tailored application letters and fill in countless application forms then, full of hope, send them out only to end up with a mass reply that essentially says "thanks but no thanks", that is assuming they even bother to reply to you at all. Quite frankly I find the whole activity completely and utterly depressing, there's nothing more sapping to your confidence than applying for a job you know you could do easily only for that application to be completely ignored, if it is even read at all.  I am starting to feel somewhat saddened and dejected just writting about it, so on that note I shall bid you a good night.

A Life In The Day Of.....

I shall start this blog by explaining that today I got offered a job, which I accepted. I start work tomorrow and, although, this isn't a bad thing, as I need money and to make money I must have a job, for my mental condition, it's not a good thing either. I am all too aware of what being in full time employment has done to me in the past, I get depressed, heavily depressed, I start to doubt everything and everyone, eventually I push everyone away from me and start to doubt there being any point in my continued existence.

The whole concept of spending 9 hours a day, 5 days a week, 240 days a year, for 50 years out of a 70 year life drudging for some awful company, with some equally awful people for less money than is necessary to live is highly offensive and degenerate to me. I end up sinking myself into drink and sometimes worse, there has been a few failed attempts at things, that under normal circumstances, I would find horrendous.

I've not even had my first day and already I can feel it creeping around the edges of my perceptions and nibbling at my resolves, I fear it is only a matter of time and I can't afford to lose another job. I am 27 years old and I'm starting to feel this is my last chance, I am too old to start from the bottom again, as I have done on many occasions before. If I fail this time then I fail at life and I don't know where that will take me, I am scared.