Wednesday, May 23, 2018

It's summer now and it's been really warm today, uncomfortably so in fact. I'm not built for warm weather, it makes me feel ill, my oversized body works better when it's cold. I miss the winter, I miss the wind and rain and clouds and cold, I miss being able to wear my oversized coats and scarves and hats and boots. It's dark out, it's getting late, I'm the only person in the house that's still awake and I can hear the faint sounds of snoring coming from the other rooms. I'm lying in my bed, the window is open wide and I can see the nights sky, it's mostly clear and very beautiful. The wind has picked up, I can hear it rustling the leaves of nearby trees, clouds are racing across the sky, it smells like it might rain, I hope it does. I love the night, I miss being mostly nocturnal, I used to enjoy night time walks but my job doesn't allow me that kind of freedom anymore. Freedom seems like an illusion, “I work to live” has slowly become “I live to work”, it happened so gradually that barely even noticed it until it had already happened. I feel like a prisoner.

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