I hate being simultaneously so tired that my eyes ache and entirely unable to sleep, yet that seems to be the defining feature of my life. It's just the worst when you fall asleep fairly easily at night only to wake up in the early hours and just lie there trying to drift back off. You end up slowly counting down until your alarm goes off, body aching, feeling drained and defeated and knowing that you have a full day ahead of you before you get to try again.
Just concentrating on a single task becomes a genuine challenge, work is a complete nightmare, dealing with other people is a losing battle and keeping the constant nagging of depression in check seems impossible.
It does get a little better when you finally get home, at least you know that the worst part of the day is over, you're surrounded by your stuff and you can finally ditch the uniform. You daren't stop and relax though, if you do that you'll doze off, if that happens you know that you won't get anything done and to make matters worse if that does happen you know that you won't sleep tonight and you'll repeat the whole process. When you do finally get in bed, you're whole body aches and you can't get comfortable, after a while you find your comfy spot, but now your mind won't switch off and you know it's going to be a long night.
It's 6:30 am, I have to get up for work, I've already been awake for over 3 hours, I gave up trying to sleep about an hour ago, I'm tired, I'm drained, my head aches, my eyes hurt (that horrible, gritty kind of hurt that you can't blink or wash away) and I've got at least 16 hours before I'll get to try again.
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