Not So Naughty Chocolate Brownies

Rich, sweet and gooey in the middle, chocolate brownies are perhaps one of the most indulgent treats there is. This is my attempt at making them just a little less naughty whilst trying to keep that rich, fudgy flavour and feeling of indulgence.

You will need:
250g pitted dates, roughly chopped
300ml hot water
125g plain flour
75g cocoa powder
2 tbsp of sucralose based sweetener
1 tbsp vanilla extract
A pinch of salt
0.5 tsp baking powder

Method:
1. Pre-heat the oven to 150°C.
2. Add the dates to a bowl and pour over the hot water, allow to soak for 20 minutes before draining the water into a jug and setting aside for thinning the batter later.
3. Add the dates to a blender or food processor and pulse until smooth.
4. Add the flour, cocoa powder, sweetener, vanilla extract and salt to the blender then pulse until smooth. If the mixture is too dry add some of the date water, a little at a time, to thin it out.
5. Add in the baking powder and pulse until incorporated.
6. Pour the mixture into a greased 20cm square pan, ensuring an even coverage.
7. Bake in the oven for about 20 minutes, allow to cool in the tin before cutting.

Notes:
These will keep for days in an airtight container, though they’ve never really hung around to find out exactly how long for.

Simple Chicken And Split Pea Curry

This is another one of those batch cooked recipes that is essentially a whole meal in a bowl. Rich, flavoursome, nicely spiced and filling, this is a fairly simple meal that'll keep you going without being too heavy and stodgy.

You will need:
1 tbsp vegetable oil (rapeseed oil)
2 medium onions, chopped *
4 large chicken legs, skin removed **
4 cloves of garlic, crushed
1 thumb sized piece of ginger, grated
3 chillies, finely chopped
2 tbsp curry powder ***
500ml chicken stock
250g yellow split peas
1 pack sweet peppers, roughly chopped ****
3 sweet potatoes, peeled and roughly chopped *****
200g bag of fresh spinach

Method:
1. Heat the vegetable oil over medium heat in a large saucepan with a lid.
2. Add the onion and cook for 4-5 minutes, until they begin to soften.
3. Add the chicken and continue to cook for a further 10 minutes, until the chicken browns and the onions start to caramelise.
4. Add the garlic, ginger and chilli and cook for another 1-2 minutes.
5. Stir in the curry powder and cook, stirring constantly to stop it catching, for 1-2 minutes, until fragrant.
6. Add the stock, split peas, peppers and sweet potato, stir to combine and cover with the lid. Turn the heat down to medium low and simmer for 60 minutes.
7. Remove the lid and simmer for a further 30 minutes, until the sauce darkens and thickens and the split peas are cooked.
8. Check the seasoning and add salt, if needed.
9. Take the pan off the heat, stir in the spinach then leave to stand, with the lid on, until the spinach wilts.

Notes:
* I say medium onions only because they’re what I have, 1 very large onion or 3 smaller ones would be fine as an alternative.
** I ended up using 8 chicken thighs because they're what I had in the fridge.
*** I actually used curry paste because I happened to have a small pot left over in the freezer.
**** Again this could be swapped out for 2 ordinary peppers, I just happen to have these to hand.
***** This could be left out completely if you're serving this over rice or, alternatively, could be swapped out for normal potatoes or even butternut squash.

British Summer Drizzle

So I headed out for a short walk in the traditional British summer drizzle, grey skies, swirling clouds and flowers in the rain. Not that I'm complaining, even British summers are too hot for me and the gloom suits my overall aesthetic.

I Know That It's Hardly The End Of The World

I know that it's hardly the end of the world, but it's only the middle of the month, pay day is more than a fortnight away, I over spent on my food budget for the week, I've just smoked the last few, slightly dried out, dregs of my Charatan Eventide and a crack just opened up on the shank of my old briar.

A tin of Samuel Gawiths Winter Time blend, a cafetiere of strong, freshly ground coffee, a few squares of 70% dark chocolate and a large whisky would go a long, long way to making life a lot more pleasant right about now.

I Had A Dog...

I had a dog, his name was Oscar and he was a good boy.

I’d be lying if I said he was perfect or the ideal pet, Oscar was noisy, smelly, clumsy, messy, annoying, overly excitable and half of the time he would completely ignore what he was being told to do, even though he was actually fairly well trained and usually completely aware of the command he was being given, and do what he wanted to anyway.

What made Oscar special is that he was lovable and very loving in return, he had the amazing ability to make just about anyone smile and I genuinely believe that he didn’t have a mean bone in his body. He may have seemed as dumb as a post to most people, but he was clever in his own way. Oscar could tell the difference between being sad and wanting company and being sad and wanting to be left alone, though often him leaving you alone meant he would sit on the other side of the room giving you massive puppy dog eyes until you caved in and called him over. He loved being around people, though he didn’t like large groups and could sometimes be a little wary at first, but if you were nice to him he would warm up to you quickly and you’d be his new best friend, because everyone was his best friend. Oscar definitely lived in the moment, nothing was ever considered and he didn’t do anything subtly, even when he wagged his tail he did it wholeheartedly and was actually wagging his entire back half.

I miss Oscar, it’s been years since he died and I’ve not thought about him in months, but as I sit here writing this it’s all flooding back. Oscar was genuinely special, one of a kind, I’ve found it difficult to bond with other animals since Oscar died, it broke my heart.

I had a dog, his name was Oscar and he was the best boy.

I’m An Old Fart

And I now completely understand what people mean when they say they’ve put their back out. I’m no stranger to back pain, and that’s ignoring the more or less constant lower back pain I have from just being a fat guy, over the years I’ve injured my back in too many ways to remember. From bruises to pulled muscles to simple strains, back pain is just part of my daily routine.

This morning, however, was the worst back pain I’ve ever felt in my life and I wasn’t even doing anything stupid. I got out of the shower, bent down to dry my legs and as I stood up my back audibly cracked. Rather than the satisfying feeling of relief and feeling a release of pressure, I was suddenly in intense pain, I couldn’t easily stand and I could feel a strong tightness in my stomach and lower back.

So far this has lasted all day, with the pain and tightness only easing slightly, to the point where I’ve given up on the day, dosed myself with anti-inflammatories, painkillers and dragon balm and crawled into bed to try and sleep.

I Am Accident Prone In The Stupidest Way

I seem to be extremely accident prone and that often leads me to cut myself a LOT, but never in normal ways. Today I managed to cut myself on some partially melted ice, so basically water, while I was defrosting my freezer. A couple of months ago I took a huge chunk out of my thumb on a potato, not the metal peeler or the very large knife I used to prepare the potato, I did it literally on the potato itself. Before that I managed to tear my finger nail, splitting it almost all the way down it’s length, whilst washing a spatula. I genuinely have no clue how I manage it, the worse part is I often handle large knives while cooking or sharp tools at work and never even get a scratch.

I Hate Being So Tired That My Eyes Ache

I hate being simultaneously so tired that my eyes ache and entirely unable to sleep, yet that seems to be the defining feature of my life. It's just the worst when you fall asleep fairly easily at night only to wake up in the early hours and just lie there trying to drift back off. You end up slowly counting down until your alarm goes off, body aching, feeling drained and defeated and knowing that you have a full day ahead of you before you get to try again.

Just concentrating on a single task becomes a genuine challenge, work is a complete nightmare, dealing with other people is a losing battle and keeping the constant nagging of depression in check seems impossible.

It does get a little better when you finally get home, at least you know that the worst part of the day is over, you're surrounded by your stuff and you can finally ditch the uniform. You daren't stop and relax though, if you do that you'll doze off, if that happens you know that you won't get anything done and to make matters worse if that does happen you know that you won't sleep tonight and you'll repeat the whole process. When you do finally get in bed, you're whole body aches and you can't get comfortable, after a while you find your comfy spot, but now your mind won't switch off and you know it's going to be a long night.

It's 6:30 am, I have to get up for work, I've already been awake for over 3 hours, I gave up trying to sleep about an hour ago, I'm tired, I'm drained, my head aches, my eyes hurt (that horrible, gritty kind of hurt that you can't blink or wash away) and I've got at least 16 hours before I'll get to try again.

It's Saturday! I Think That's Ample Justification

It's Saturday, I'm up early waiting on a delivery and I've got a fairly busy day ahead of me, it would almost be wrong not to...