Showing posts with label diet. Show all posts
Showing posts with label diet. Show all posts

Thursday, February 4, 2021

I Binged Today...

I binged today, it’s been the worst binge I’ve had in a long long time.

About 2 years ago, over the course of 10 months, I lost 8 stone (that’s 112lb or 51kg for anyone outside the UK). The last 2 years have been a real struggle to keep the weight off, a struggle that I’ve been slowly losing. As I relaxed my calorie count old habits re-emerged and I started to occasionally binge eat again. Since the peak of my weight loss I’ve managed to regain a around about a stone (14lb or 6.5kg) and I currently weigh in at almost exactly 17 stone (238lbs or 108kg).

Whilst this is nowhere near what I used to weigh, that being 25 stone (350lb or 159kg), it is by no means small and I’m still classified as clinically obese for a man of my height.

Unfortunately I’ve discovered that losing weight hasn’t really affected my ability to binge large quantities of food, nor has it really altered the maximum portion size that I’m able to eat. Today something in me briefly gave up and in the time it took me to regain control, a period of around 20 minutes, I ate 8 packets of Maltesers, 6 packets of Hula Hoops, 4 KitKats and 2 toasted crumpets. Considering this happened after I’d eaten my main meal, and having already consumed in the region of 1800 calories for the day, I should be feeling horribly bloated and generally ill. The problem is that so many years of constant binge eating has left my capacity to eat extremely high and because of that I barely even feel full. Had I not regained control of myself when I did I really don’t know when I would have stopped or how much I could have consumed.

Needless to say I’m extremely disappointed in myself and am currently feeling quite a lot of self loathing.

Thursday, May 30, 2019

Some Days Are Just Bad Days

When you're as obsessed with food as I am and you're trying to manage your weight, particularly if you're counting calories, I think it's important not to feel like you're missing out. From my perspective the moment that I start feeling like I'm missing out is when I know that it's just a matter of time before I break and relapse into my old eating habits. I have a few things that I rely on to help with this, one of them being that I buy little, pre portioned, treats that can easily be factored into my daily caloric intake. Unfortunately I also have to operate within a fairly tight budget and sometimes, to help keep costs down, I will buy my treats in bulk, this means that I will occasionally have several weeks worth sat on my shelf. Normally this isn't an issue, not allowing myself to feel like I'm missing out grants me a certain amount of self control and I can usually stick to whatever I've factored into my daily diet. Some days, however, are harder than others and Tuesday was a particularly shitty day for me. After getting home from work, instead of following my normal routine, I decided to try and cheer myself up by eating my treats for the day a little early. This lead to me having a minor break, instead of taking just one cake bar from the pack, I took the whole pack and once I'd finished that pack I started on a second. It took less than 10 minutes to completely destroy over a week's worth of treats and to burn through well over a day's worth of calories before I'd even eaten my dinner. Rather than cheering me up, as intended, this has left me feeling angry and more than a little disappointed with myself.

Wednesday, May 29, 2019

Everyday I Struggle With Food

It's been 18 months since I radically changed what I eat and started to actively lose weight. Although I don't actually know how much weight I've lost, in that time I've dropped 10 inches from around my waist and gone down 3 X's in shirt size. Even after all this time staying on the wagon and making healthier food choices is incredibly difficult, there's not a single day goes by that some part of me doesn't cry out for crisps, fried foods and chocolate. Most days I can keep it under control, but that's not always the case, some times my will breaks and I make a total pig of myself. The days I fail are the hardest of all because they remind me that I love eating and that fatty, unhealthy foods are my favourite and represent some of the best foods known to man. On these days getting myself back under control and getting back on the wagon is almost impossible, but I know that I have to, I never want to be the size I used to be and that means being in control of myself.

Monday, April 15, 2019

Turkey Meatballs In A Savoury Moroccan Tagine Inspired Sauce

You can't really cook casseroles and onepots without coming across the tagine. Tagines are named after they're distinctive earthenware pot they're traditionally cooked in and are generally a heavily spiced, richly flavoured stew like dish. This is my take on a Moroccan meatball tagine, replacing the usual lamb or beef mince with lower calorie, lower fat turkey mince.



You will need:

For the meatballs:
500g turkey mince
1 egg
1 small onion, grated or very finely chopped
1 tsp paprika
1 tsp cumin
1/4 tsp ground cinnamon
1 tbsp dried parsley
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp black pepper

For the sauce:
1 tbsp vegetable (rapeseed) oil
3 small onions, chopped
1 large green pepper, chopped
4 cloves of garlic, crushed
1 inch piece of ginger, grated
1 1/2 tsp paprika
1 1/2 tsp cumin
1 tsp ground cinnamon
1 tsp chilli powder
1 tbsp dried parsley
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp black pepper
2 200g cartons passata
1 tbsp lemon juice (or half a lemon if you're using fresh)
1 can chickpeas

Method:
1. Add the turkey, egg and remaining meatball ingredients to a large bowl and mix until fairly well incorporated.
2. Form the mixture into roughly 2cm diameter balls, place on a tray and set aside in the fridge.
3. Add the oil to a fairly large, heavy based, pan with a lid and warm over a medium heat.
4. Add the onion and green pepper and cook for 4-5 minutes, until the onion starts to soften.
5. Add the garlic, ginger, spices and herbs and cook for 1-2 minutes, until fragrant.
6. Add the passata, lemon juice and chickpeas, bring to a simmer and cook for about 20 minutes, until the sauce is rich and deeply flavoured.
7. Remove the meatballs from the fridge, add to the sauce, cover and cook for 10-15 minutes, until the meatballs are cooked through.

Notes:
Serve over couscous or alongside a decent sized chunk of lightly warmed, crusty, buttered bread.

Monday, April 1, 2019

Monday Morning Update



This weekend was a very food heavy couple of days and, whilst I definitely enjoyed eating it, I know that I’m going to spend the rest of the week paying the price for it. I shall be somewhat punishing myself mentally, if not physically, as I obsessively count every single calorie that goes into my body. That’s not to say that I’m currently on a massively restricted calorie count, I’m not really looking to lose any more weight, however, I am actively trying to avoid gaining weight. After the weekend I’ve just had (including heading out for a few drinks on Thursday night), I’ll be aiming for somewhere in the region of 1800 calories a day and over the next 4 days this should, more or less, balance things out nicely.

Wednesday, March 13, 2019

Gaining Weight Is Easier Than You Think

It really wasn't until I'd spent a fair amount of time actually counting calories that it occurred to me just how ridiculously easy it is to go over your recommended daily intake. The average man needs to consume 2500 calories a day just to maintain his current weight, with the average woman needing somewhat less at 2000 calories. These numbers sound like a lot, but they're really not and making the wrong choices can quite easily leave you consuming more than half your daily intake in a single meal.

Let's put those numbers into some sort of perspective and think of what most people would consider an average, fairly healthy, day. Let's start at the beginning with breakfast:

You're having a bowl of porridge with a glass of fruit juice and a banana. Looking at an average pack of porridge oats your suggested serving is 40g porridge oats, 100ml semi skimmed milk and 1 tsp of honey, this would make roughly 210 calories, or 150ml, worth of porridge. Taking into account that the average breakfast bowl holds 440ml of food, this works out to be less than half a bowl. Scaling this up to make a full (ish) bowl of porridge you're looking more like 100g of porridge oats, 200ml semi skimmed milk and 2 tsp honey, giving you a serving of 490 calories. Add in a 250ml glass of fresh orange juice, at around 120 calories, and a small banana, at 90 calories, and you've already consumed 700 calories before you even left the house.

You arrive at work, at 8:30am, and the first thing you do is make a mug of coffee with milk and sugar, providing you with an additional 50 calories.

10:30am arrives and you pop to the loo and make a second coffee for another 50 calories.

Before you know it, it's 1:00pm, it's lunch time and your stomach is rumbling. By 1:10pm you're sitting in the canteen slurping a capri sun with a pleasantly full belly, and an empty lunch box, having just polished off a fairly reasonable lunch of a ham sandwich, a packet of cheese and onion, an apple, an orange and a muller light for a grand total of 660 calories (including the capri sun).

You sit and read a couple of news articles on your phone, you have a chat with Barry from accounting, 2:00pm comes around and you head back to the office with your 3rd, and final, mug of 50 calorie coffee.

It's been a long afternoon when 5:30pm finally rolls around, you're tired, you're hungry and you've got a 20 minute walk home before you get to eat. There's only one thing keeping you on the straight and narrow and that is you know there's a slow cooker full of home made bolognese waiting for you and all you'll need to do is boil a bit of pasta, toast a slice of garlic bread and serve it in your favourite bowl for a respectable 750 calories.
It's 7:00 pm and you've just finished the washing up, you've popped the kettle on to make a pot of tea and the biscuits are calling your name, you've been good, you've not snacked and you've even managed to get most of your 5 a day, a couple of chocolate digestives with your tea, coming in at a total of 220 calories, isn't going to break the scales.

You climb into bed, your alarm clock reads 10:00 pm, you contemplate how your diet is going and you come to the conclusion that you're doing really well right before you drift off to sleep.

So let's do the maths:

700 + 50 + 50 + 660 + 50 + 750 + 220 = 2480 calories in one day.

Now if you're a man this isn't actually too bad for a day, you've more or less broke even and, whilst you might not be losing weight, you're not gaining weight, however, if you're a woman this would be a bad day and it would only take a few days like this a week to find yourself putting on a stone in weight over a 6 month period. So for anyone who is trying to lose weight and is having any sort of success, believe me when I say that even the slowest of weight loss should be considered success, you are doing amazingly well and you deserve respect.

Tuesday, February 12, 2019

Being A Natural Fatty Sucks

My stomach is rumbling like fuck, but I’ve already eaten my calorie allowance for the day and after the weekend I just had (I basically ate everything even remotely edible that came near me) I don’t have any spare for a quick snack.

Monday, February 11, 2019

Monday Morning

A bucket full of coffee and a treacle tart is an essential part of any balanced Monday breakfast. The really sad thing is that this might be the nicest thing that I eat all week.

Monday, January 21, 2019

Real Men Wear Cardigans


One of the few things I've actually been successful at over the past 12 months is losing weight. I've dropped about 10 inches from around my waist, having lost somewhere in the region of 5 stones, since this time last year.

I'd love to say it's made my more confident and given me a fresh perspective on life, but in all honesty I'm not sure that it has made all that much difference. I'm the smallest I've been since I was a teenager, and it's definitely lessened some of my aches and pains, but on an emotional level I'm still pretty much broken.

That said I have come away with at least one positive thing, I can totally rock a cardigan and no matter what anyone else says cardigans are metal as fuck.

P.S I still suck at taking selfies.

P.P.S Any clothing brands looking for a tall, slightly older, somewhat alternative, grizzled (ugly) looking model I'm totally available... and that's not at all because I now have a wardrobe full of clothes that are too big and can't afford to replace them so could do with some free stuff...

Sunday, September 2, 2018

Forever A Fatty

So diet wise this weekend has been a complete disaster, however, food wise it's been pretty awesome. Cinnamon hot cocoa with homemade cookies for supper followed, a few hours later, by a rye bread grilled cheese with red onion chutney and pickles for breakfast.