Chinese Fakeaway

As part of my current attempt at healthier eating, I've completely cut out takeaway food and, as such, it's been over a year since the last time I ate a chinese takeaway. When it comes to chinese food I'm fairly predictable in regards to what I order, I nearly always have some form of chow mein, because I absolutely love noodles. This weekend my parents had a chinese takeaway and, because I was insanely close to caving in and ordering the house special noodles, I decided to join them by cooking my own. I made a chinese style roasted lean pork loin, marinated and cooked in a sauce made with onion, ginger, garlic, rice wine vinegar, dark soy sauce, oyster sauce, chinese five spice and honey (I actually used a low calorie fruit syrup, as a replacement, to cut the sugar content and the number of calories). I served this over a bed of egg noodles and stir fried vegetables, both of which I flavoured with some of the left over marinade.

Back To Work Vanity

Back to work tomorrow after a week off and a serious case of the Sunday blues has already set in, to say that I'm really not looking forward to it would be one hell of an understatement. In an effort to cheer myself up, and because I'm kinda vain, I spent far too long pulling stupid faces at the camera on my mobile phone.

Pudding For Breakfast?

Since I've been off work for a few days, and I had about half a fruit loaf left over in the cupboard, I decided to go a bit old school and make myself a bread and butter pudding... On a not entirely unrelated note, would you say that bread and butter pudding is an acceptable breakfast food?

And The Heavens Opened

The sky literally just turned black, the heavens opened and now it’s raining harder than I’ve seen it rain in years, but garden is looking lovely.

Celebrating With Utter Filth

Celebrating the long weekend, and the fact that I'm not at work for the week, with something that can only be described as pure filth. I made an absolutely massive, and thoroughly dirty, steak and cheese sandwich with a side of seasoned oven chips. I regret nothing... ok I regret everything, but at least it made me smile while I was eating it.

Reduced Sugar Oaty Rock Cakes

Looking for a little tea time treat that won't completely blow your calorie intake? Try these lovely little reduced sugar rock cakes.

You will need:
100g Self raising flour
85g porridge oats
50g sultanas
1 tbsp demerara sugar
1 tbsp sucralose based sweetener
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
1/4 tsp ground nutmeg
Pinch of salt
125g butter, melted
1 egg, lightly beaten

Method:
1. Pre-heat the oven to 180°C
2. Add all the ingredients into a large bowl and mix until everything is thoroughly incorporated.
3. Use a spoon to place dollops of the mix onto a non-stick baking sheet.
4. Bake in the oven for 15 - 20 minutes, until cooked through.

Notes:
To reduce the calories even more you could switch out the remaining sugar for sweetener.

Turkey Meatballs In A Savoury Moroccan Tagine Inspired Sauce

You can't really cook casseroles and onepots without coming across the tagine. Tagines are named after they're distinctive earthenware pot they're traditionally cooked in and are generally a heavily spiced, richly flavoured stew like dish. This is my take on a Moroccan meatball tagine, replacing the usual lamb or beef mince with lower calorie, lower fat turkey mince.

You will need:

For the meatballs:
500g turkey mince
1 egg
1 small onion, grated or very finely chopped
1 tsp paprika
1 tsp cumin
1/4 tsp ground cinnamon
1 tbsp dried parsley
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp black pepper

For the sauce:
1 tbsp vegetable (rapeseed) oil
3 small onions, chopped
1 large green pepper, chopped
4 cloves of garlic, crushed
1 inch piece of ginger, grated
1 1/2 tsp paprika
1 1/2 tsp cumin
1 tsp ground cinnamon
1 tsp chilli powder
1 tbsp dried parsley
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp black pepper
2 200g cartons passata
1 tbsp lemon juice (or half a lemon if you're using fresh)
1 can chickpeas

Method:
1. Add the turkey, egg and remaining meatball ingredients to a large bowl and mix until fairly well incorporated.
2. Form the mixture into roughly 2cm diameter balls, place on a tray and set aside in the fridge.
3. Add the oil to a fairly large, heavy based, pan with a lid and warm over a medium heat.
4. Add the onion and green pepper and cook for 4-5 minutes, until the onion starts to soften.
5. Add the garlic, ginger, spices and herbs and cook for 1-2 minutes, until fragrant.
6. Add the passata, lemon juice and chickpeas, bring to a simmer and cook for about 20 minutes, until the sauce is rich and deeply flavoured.
7. Remove the meatballs from the fridge, add to the sauce, cover and cook for 10-15 minutes, until the meatballs are cooked through.

Notes:
Serve over couscous or alongside a decent sized chunk of lightly warmed, crusty, buttered bread.

Just Because

My face, just because I can, because I’m slightly vain, because it’s been a couple of days since I last posted anything of my own and because I always look better in natural light.

I Don’t Understand Music And I Wish I Did

I love music, I’ve loved music for as long as I can remember, it’s always been a big part of my life, however, I don’t understand music and I wish I did. Though I don’t anymore, and I’m not entirely certain I could even If I tried, in the past I’ve played a variety of instruments and learned to read sheet music, tablature etc. But it’s always been just that, reading and copying what someone else has written, I’ve never been able to produce music of my own and on the odd occasion that I’ve tried it’s always sounded horrible and completely discordant. I just don’t seem able to grasp the basic structure of music, how it fits together, what notes, chords, progressions etc. work with and complement each other. I don’t even know what it is that prevents me from understanding it, maybe I’m just not a creative person, maybe the way I think is too linear, maybe I’m too dependant on logic to grasp the analogue nature of sounds and rhythms, maybe I’m just tone death. I honestly don’t know and I probably never will.

You Just Can’t Sleep

It’s 1:30pm and so far you’ve spent the whole day feeling tired and drained. Your whole being craves the cosy comfort of your bed and the quiet oblivion of sleep, but you’re an adult, it’s only Tuesday and you’re stuck in the office until 5:30pm.

It’s later in the day, you’ve just got home from work and you’re even more tired, but you know that you’ve got things to do before you can settle in for the night. You take off your work clothes and put on a pair of shorts and an old baggy t-shirt, you exercise for 30 minutes. Once you’ve finished your set you shower, change into your pyjamas, re-heat and eat one of the meals you prepared for yourself over the weekend and go about your daily chores.

It gets dark out, it’s finally time for bed, you’ve been thinking about this moment all day, you go to loo, brush your teeth and walk back into your room. Your bed is in front of you, it looks cosy, and you are so very tired, you climb in, turn off the bedside lamp and snuggle down… BUT… you can’t switch off, your brain just won’t stop thinking, it’s not even thinking about anything important, and, to make matters worse, no matter how hard you try you just can’t get comfortable, every position you lie in causes a different part of your body to hurt.

An hour passes and you’re still awake, you’re tossing and turning, but you still can’t find a comfortable position. You try and distract yourself, you tell yourself silly little stories, you even try counting sheep but nothing is working, you’re uncomfortable and your brain is still whiring away to itself.

More time passes and you’re still awake, you finally have to admit that you just can’t sleep. You know tomorrow is going to be shit.

Is It Still Considered Vanity?

Is it still considered vanity if you want people to look at you even though you’re aware of the fact that you’re ugly as fuck? On a related thought, you’d think that growing up ugly on the outside would encourage you to be pretty on the inside, in my case, however, I’m potentially far uglier on the inside than my outward appearance could ever suggest.

Thursday Evening

Metal Hammer is my favourite magazine, these days it's more or less the only one I bother to read, it's certainly the only one that I read with any regularity. Unfortunately I find myself with increasingly less time to just sit and read, so when I do find the time I tend to pick up a book, rather than a magazine, and this often leads to me having a backlog of several months worth of issues. Tonight I'm going to try and at least partially rectify that, I've made myself a large pot of tea, broke out a couple of sweet, energy rich, treats, wrapped a cozy blanket around my shoulders and settled in for the night with the intention of reading at least one issue. I know I could just stop buying copies for a few months, but I also know that if people don't buy it then it will simply disappear, and I really don't want it to disappear, so I actually have a long standing, prepaid, subscription. I also know physical print, particularly when it comes to potentially wasteful, throw away products like magazines (please remember to recycle whenever possible), is a dying medium, but I just love the tactile experience, I'm a fairly tactile person, of holding and interacting with something. I know digital mediums are on the rise, and to a large extent I actually support this, but I just don't find myself able to engage with them in the same way as I do a physical product. I know this is something of a personal failing, I know that it's hypocritical, but unfortunately it's the way I am.